For as long as I can remember, I was concerned about my weight. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. There were a lot of imperfections that I wanted to change, but the bottom line was I just wanted to be skinnier. I knew that I needed to exercise and eat less, but I wanted quick results. So I’d skip meals and pass on all my favorite foods. Every time I would go out to eat, I’d order a salad, without fail. I wouldn’t let myself have dessert of any kind and if I slipped up, I’d feel extremely guilty, punishing myself the next day with more exercise. I now understand how unhealthy these kinds of habits were, but back then I didn’t know what else to do. I know I’m not the only one who engages in these kinds of extreme behaviors in order to achieve a “better body,” but over the last few years I’ve begun to realize that they really don’t work.
When you’re trying to achieve a goal, it may seem realistic to restrict a whole group of foods and push your body harder than usual. But these kinds of behaviors are unsustainable over the long term. I know myself and I know full well that I cannot give up sweets for the rest of my life nor do I want to! We lie to ourselves, convincing ourselves that it is possible to cut out carbs indefinitely. While that may be possible for a very small minority of people, it’s just unlikely to be sustainable for a lifetime. But because we convince ourselves it’s possible, we then berate ourselves when we fall off the wagon, coming up with the only “logical” explanation that we can: that we’re failures. This then feeds into the cycle, as we come up with punishments and even harsher restrictions. But instead of punishing and ridiculing ourselves, maybe we should try a different tactic.
What I’ve found to be true for me in the last few years is that balance is the key to my overall health. Sure, I still have health and fitness goals, but my life is no longer dictated by what I shouldn’t eat. I like the 80/20 rule—eating healthy for 80 % of the week, and the other 20% includes the more indulgent foods that I love. Instead of beating myself up for having dessert with my friends, I allow myself to fully enjoy it, because I know that I’ve tried my best to be healthy during the other days of the week. And if I’m tired in the morning, and don’t have the energy to make it to the gym, I’m perfectly okay with that, because I know I’ll make it happen tomorrow.
My weight fluctuates here and there, but I know that my habits are fairly consistent. I’m no longer consumed by thoughts about my body. While fitness and health are important to me, they don’t rule my life anymore. I’ve tempered my expectations for myself, recognizing my own limitations and weaknesses. I know that I’m not going to work out six days a week and I’m okay with that.
This past year as the MoveU blogger has really allowed me to learn more about myself. I engaged with my own thoughts and habits surrounding health and fitness and developed a better understanding of what “healthy” means to me. I hope these blog posts encouraged all of you to do the same.
I’ve really enjoyed getting to blog about so many different aspects of health and fitness, but my time here at U of T is coming to an end. While this might be my last blog post for U of T, I know I’ll always keep writing about health and fitness, because my story isn’t over just yet.